Honestly.
Masa kamu baca ni, aku masih ada rasa tidak percaya, in denial juga ada sedikit, mungkin. Berkali aku kena tepuk kepala sendiri untuk memberitahu dan mengingatkan; Jack sudah tiada. T_T Tolong lah hati, kau harus percaya fakta ini.
Sebenarnya aku mulai ada rasa cuak mahu memandu sendirian. Aku tiba-tiba jadi takut. Bukan takut, terganggu sebenarnya. Aku rasa mungkin aku masih trauma sedikit. Aku kasi tau Kak Tiny, nasib aku baru pakai itu saga, kalau 2,3 tahun sudah aku pakai, mungkin aku sanggup trade-in.
Masih kami pandai tersasul tersebut nama. Mungkin kami semua perlu sedikit masa untuk get over this. Get over, but you'll be remembered always.
The hardest part is to be back and work in the office, of where we're always been.
Sebenarnya, kami selalu buli dia. Yes, we were. Sejak dulu. sejak kali pertama dia jejak kaki ganti Azhar sebagai TC zon Sandakan. Why? because he was like a brother. A younger brother. Fun to tease, but of course loved by everyone T_T
Few weeks ago, before the long CNY leave, kami baru kacau dia. He was in the pantry, and saw we had this kuih pisang. Bila Kok nampak dia datang, cepat-cepat Kok kasi tapuk. Bila dia masuk dan tengok kuih tu tiada, of course lah he knew it kena tapuk kan, dia tutup pintu terus pergi balik bilik GBT. He was sulking kot. Terpaksa Kok interkom dia gurau gurau kacau kacau lepas tu dia pun okay. It was fun, aku rasa dia faham kami bergurau begitu, We were always like that, saling mengacau.
Selalu bila dia pergi pantry to refill his herbalife bottle, mesti dia singgah our room and kacau-kacau kami.
Few weeks ago juga, masa tu ada pre-inter 5S competition, he just re-do his stationary drawer. I remembered went to GBT and saw him potong gabus putih for partition. So, aku kata 'takpayah lah kau susah-susah, tidak sempat ni, besok checking sudah. Kalau kalah tu kalah juga lah.' Dia stop potong lalu cakap, ‘sempat ba ini.’ Dia pegang gunting potong kertas hitam ikut bentuk partition. Isnin tu, masa Mas kemas personal belonging dia di drawer terus aku terkesima. Buruk juga kau potong ni kertas, tidak rata. T__T
The other day, when we're short of trainer, and quite kebingungan cari pengganti, Mas came with the idea that he can teach that subject, sebab dia pernah ajar di Kiulu dulu. Tapi he refuse to teach, no confident dia bilang. Terus Mas bilang, jangan risau biar aku urus dia. So, Mas told him that she's the trainer and he was the assistant. He agreed. Mas kata, kau masuk dulu, starting. Kejap aku ganti. Lepastu, sampai ke petang he teached T_T Masa tu aku kata, pandai betul Mas saiko dia, dia tak kan tak tahu Mas mana pandai corel draw T_T
Bila aku masuk bilik GBT, aku selalu nampak dia buka youtube. dia suka buka youtube, tengok video lucu-lucu, lepastu pasang kuat kuat. Hoi, ini office lah. kau ni kan ;) Pernah sekali, entah apa yang dia tunjuk tu, berabis kami ketawa, masa tu Ros duduk sebelah dia.
Masa retreat Ranau hari tu, aku ingat lagi, semua staff lelaki dapat naik SAA13K kecuali dia dengan kok. tapi kok masuk van kami, van ladies. Dia termasuk van boss-boss. Punya sayu muka dia masuk van tidak happening. Cepat ja masa berlalu ;)
Sekarang, mulai dari 19 Feb 2012 hari tu, semua itu hanya tinggal kenangan manis ;)
Good bye. Sleep Tight.
RIP Jacknoris Vincent
02 Dec 1986 - 19 Feb 2012
Deeply missed. Forever remembered.
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On 21/02/12 : Empat kereta dari AMC naik Kg Marasak Keningau for Jack’s burial. 1 kereta company, 3 kereta sendiri. With our own expenses. Me, Kak Tiny, and Za in ride with Kok. Rachel, Nita, Shirley in ride with Azhar, Fendy, Daniel in ride with Mas and her husb. The company’s car brought Ms Ginny, Kak Azimah, Herman and drove by Alung. We travelled 120km away, just for you, Jack.
Its good to travel with your loved friends, but it became too sad thinking we came there to visit a close-friend’s funeral. Masing-masing cuba gembirakan hati sendiri. Kok cakap, jauhnya Jack pulang tiap-tiap minggu kan. He would try to balik kampong every week, you know. I felt sad, very sad once we reached his hometown. Rasa dekat sangat, yet so far away. Lagi sedih fikir. it was our last time saw his face. We’ll never see him again.
Kak Tiny pesan, samada aku betul berani tengok Jack’s body. I would regret if I don’t, kak. Bila aku tengok, terus airmata aku tumpah. This is crazy. Why? Bukankah baru saja kami jumpa dia beberapa minggu lepas? Begitu cepat he left us. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Macam it’s just his body, not him. Astaghfirullah hal azim. Apa aku cakap ni? Kita semua patut tabah. Ini takdir.
Aku dan Kak Tiny ikut sampai tempat burial. Sampai dia hilang dari pandangan. Matahari terik betul masa tu, rupa nya the burial tu tepat jam 12. Anita, Rachel, Shirley and Azhar lambat sampai. They missed the church session. Anita was crying hard, dia ingat dia tak sempat tengok Jack buat kali terakhir. Actually, mereka lambat bertolak dari KK, so lambat sampai Keningau. Kami sampai sejam awal macam tu. None in their ride knew the exact place, nah habis tersesat 15km menuju Tenom, balik pekan, lepastu sesat lagi salah masuk simpang Sook. Mujurlah, they arrived just in time.
You were loved by everyone, Jack. We’ll miss you forever.
PS : This is my last entry of Jack. Thanks for bear with my writing. I hope none will misunderstand with any of my writing. We here, are having a really hard time to cope with the loss. Life must go on, though. Thanks.
2 comments:
Sa nangis oo baca ni entry ko noor. T.T
BCJ
Bruce,
Kau memang, semua benda kau nangis T__T
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