PAC Result: I Failed ;)

Hai.

Remember I attended a Pre Assessment for Anti Dadah few months back? I wrote it here . Bacalah kalau kamu banyak masa lapang.

The result sudah released. And I failed. Syukur alhamdullilah. No no I am not being sarcastic here. I really mean it. Pertama, aku tahu kemampuan aku, usaha aku, and there's no denial yang I wasnt trying it hard. I tak buat sepenuh hati, itu satu. Paling penting, I dont deserve it. In fact I dont deserved to be there pun. Why? You should look how serious and determined and well prepared the other participants were. Semua datang menghafal fakta memahami akta penuh di dada dan kepala. Aku datang lenggang lenggang kangkung with no preparation. Malah risau apa keadaan office nun jauh di sana. Apakah T_T

Aku pula bukanlah orang yang cepat patah hati when it comes to rejection atau failure begini. I believe dari gagal kita belajar benda baru. Macam sekarang, biarpun gagal at least aku pernah ada pengalaman lepas pergi PAC. Lagi satu, aku percaya kadang-kadang when it comes to thing like this, bukan kau bodoh atau tak layak, tapi lebih kepada tidak sesuai. Contoh ah, sometimes ada new part time datang interview for ICT Trainer post. Ada yang hebat betul akademik dia, tapi rejected. Kenapa? Kadang kadang kita nampak sudah ketidak sesuaian orang itu dengan skop kerja tu. Macam aku, I judge based on three criterias; knowledge, teaching experience, attitude.

Kalau ada high knowledge sekalipun, tapi sikap keras kepala degil dan melawan, better no. Knowledge can be gain, teaching skills / experience boleh dibentuk, its your attitude yang differentiate you from other. Susahlah kalau orang tu degil, nda mau menerima arahan, sebab I expect and prefer someone yang boleh work in a team. Our trainer is part of our team. They represent us. Kalau dapat yang keras kepala aku susah hati. Bila dia keras kepala, mau menangkan diri dia saja, susahlah. Kami ni dalam bidang service, kalau trainer poyo kepala besar temberang, nanti student jelik, complaint lagi. Who has to deal with that? Yours truly lah of course.. Yang humble aku suka ;)

Tapi sebab utama aku happy aku fail adalah kerana husb happy with that. He's the one yang praying for me to fail. Not because dia mau aku jatuh or statik begini, tapi sebab dia takmau jauh dari aku. Ya betul lah tu. Bukan rahsia. Sejak aku attended PAC tu lagi dia asyik tanya what if you have to work in KL, what if you transferred there, sampai aku bosan lah mau jawab. He know that post tiada di Sabah. Konon. Alasan. The main reason is; we are TTC-ing, remember? So, we have that plan we want to accomplish. Looking for better job is not my priority. I just love my present job. I am 90% happy working in AMC. Dont worry. The rest 10% I can fake one. Hahaha

Those 3 ladies replying me tu adalah my sisters-in-law ya. Husb's kakak and adik(s). Even my mum also want to get a piece of this T_T

PS : Husb really said that; 'syukur lah sayang fail' T____T